The summer semester ends

The summer semester has finally ended. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I decided that I could handle the hectic pace of summer classes, TWO CLASSES by the way, and work and volunteering and having a life. Scratch that last part - I didn't have a life this summer. I didn't even manage to clean my house this summer so having a social life or reading a book for fun or even doing laundry and dishes became more than I could handle most days.

I felt like I was doing okay most of the summer, well if treading water is doing fine. But at the end of the semester it was like everyone piled stuff on and on and on. I would read to before class only to be behind the next day. And don't get me started on 'blackboard' and having a group assignment! By the end of it I remembered exactly why I despised group projects - having to rely on the group rather than working at my own pace. By the end of the semester I was over the whole group project; I didn't even want to hear the words "group" and "project" together in a sentence! (I liked/like my classmates, but when some of them don't work and you do - well, you can finish that sentence.) I don't want to talk about ethics every spare moment I get.

Ok, I'm climbing down from the ledge now. I'm just glad summer is over. It is hard juggling work fulltime, volunteering and school fulltime. And at the end of this semester I really had a minute when I just felt over it all. Anyone that says school isn't work is insane. I'm not sure how I've managed these two semesters, but I'm exhausted.

I was asked to participate in a pilot program for the agency I volunteer with weekly. Because I want to help I agreed to participate. And then the person leading the program proceeded to call me during work hours (which I said NOT to do) and then call my cell repeatedly in the evenings. So this morning I declined to help them. I am acknowledging that my time for me is my time. When I get a spare 30 minutes or hour I don't want to be obligated to do or be or whatever someone else wants. Whew! It feels good to say, "NO". I think I'm going to start saying it more often - I just need time to myself and what I want. I’m amazed to find that I had put myself in a position of not saying “No” to people, but I realized that is exactly what I had done. So, now I’m saying no, no, no, no if it doesn’t suit me at the time and interrupts what little time I get for myself.


As for the summer semester, grades are finally posted and I’ve managed at 4.0 for all classes and that makes me happy. I’m going to celebrate by not committing to anything until I have to start school again for the Fall – a whole 12 days!