Argh.

Lately I've begun to feel like a hamster on a wheel to nowhere.

While I know that I'm working towards a goal, well several goals, it sometimes feels like I'm not moving. After this semester I will have two classes to graduate - two. While that makes me happy it also feels like forever.
And at times it feels anti-climatic. A lot of things feel that way.


I've been struggling for some time now on which color to paint my loft. I know this seems like an easy task but it isn't. I've tried out at least eight wall colors. EIGHT. I've learned that what looks good on paper or in print...may NOT look good otherwise. I think I'm a visual person and it helps me to see the paint on the wall.
I'm not able to imagine what it might look like on the wall, I need it to actually be on the walls. As a result I have five different paint colors on my walls.

Mix the paint issues with school, co-worker drama, incomplete home projects and the stress of dating, or rather not dating, and you get the picture.
I'm starting to withdraw from everything. I don't care to answer the phone or do anything social. Somehow having great grades and the prospect of graduate school aren't enough right now.

I know it isn't rational to think I could have the perfect home, perfect grades, excellent co-workers and endless dating partners. This doesn't mean I don't still try or want those things. I feel like I'm just going through the motions.