Funk. I had it.

I realized yesterday that despite all the great things in my life, I've been in a funk. For some time. I feel like it sneaked up on me while I was juggling (sometimes poorly) work, school, my place and life.
The funk came to visit and never left.


I want the funk to leave and I've started taking steps to help it find its way to someone or something else. Having been excited about the new person I met, our talks and date, has been great. And I think that having this person persistently pursue me as I pushed him away has made me see my funk. I wouldn't allow him in and rejected him several times, but each time he came back... And finally I realized that I was just creating excuses not to see what would or could happen. The funk will do that - it will convince you that you're better off as you are currently. I am glad I realized that and allowed him into my life because he's a great guy.


It is amazing how once you let someone into your life you expect that connectedness daily. It happens fast.


But I sense he may be pulling away now that I've allowed him into my life. And for the first time in some time, I am not taking his distancing personally. In the past I would have taken it very personally; as a sign that something was wrong with me. Not now, nope.

He is his own person with his own complex issues. So I am allowing him the chance to distance himself or see what happens between us. It feels liberating not to try to figure out what happened or worry about what might happen and to let go of the funk I'd been feeling for some time.