Stepping out on a thin branch.

Since I can remember I've had a camera. I loved taking photos of relatives and pets as a kid.
One of my first toys was a Fisher-Price toy camera. I can still here the dull click sound it made when I "took" a photo.

I LOVED that camera.

I don't know if I ever told my mom this or she noticed on her own, but when I got a little older she gave me a real camera. I was the only 8 year old I knew with her own camera. Nevermind that most of the photos were of my family and all my pets.
I'm sure the drugstore loved developing roll after roll of my bunny, cats, hamsters and dogs. My mom was a single parent going to college. In hindsight I'm sure that buying film and those cube flashes and cost her money she could have used on other things. She never said a word to me when I'd dump film in her purse for developing. She never said, "Enough cat photos!" She allowed me to take my photos no matter how mundane.


I still love photography. I still want a really nice camera and lessons on light composition and all the technical things that would help me. I want to capture a moment well enough to share that moment with others. These moments, like my childhood photographs, are never photos of me. I discovered early on that I didn't like photographs of myself. I would pose for them with family during the holidays or some celebration and then just before the click...I would duck out of sight. My family has quite a few photos of everyone and my hands or the very top of my head.


I have reasons for not wanting my image captured that have nothing to do with America's Most Wanted, but these are all personal. And after a conversation with Robin, I've discovered that my reasons aren't so different from the reasons others don't like to be photographed.


All of this brings me to this moment. This weekend Robin suggested doing something others have done, taking a single self- portrait daily for 365 days, one year. Sounds simple for those unafraid of the camera, but not so simple for someone like me.

I want to grow and not just be comfortable in what I already know or have or have experienced. I want to reconcile my brain's image with the camera image. My growth starts on 1/1/09 and I'm interested and terrified of what might happen, but I'm doing it.
Thanks for the idea Robs.