I've been MIA for some time. I have no excuse - none, zilch, nada.
I can't blame work or school or the cats.
I'm going to make more of an effort. I like to talk so you'd think I'd be all over this thing yapping daily.
It's Lent. And this year I've struggled with what to give up or take on. I've decided to give up some very personal habits, cussing, letting my mind go to the negative and fear.
That last one is HUGE - HUGE for me. Although I seem fearless...I am not fearless.
I imagine my friends would all say I seem not to fear anything or anyone if asked. But I'm human and there are things that frighten me. Not bugs or conflicts or things that go bump in the night (which I tend to boldy investigate with my cat behind me), but every day, ordinary things.
So for Lent I am working on giving up fear - fear of not meeting the person for me (I know he's out there somewhere also investigating things that go bump in the night), fear of getting into a PhD program, fear of my calling, fear of not being able to pay off my credit card bill, you know, fear of leaving the house undressed by accident.
I plan to kick this fear for Lent - not that I won't ever feel fear again, but that I'll realize some fear is normal, but it isn't normal to remain fearful.
I also gave up Facebook for Lent. I'm amazed at the number of adults who are texting me that I'm lame for daring to NOT use FB for Lent. Ahahahaha!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
I'm still here
It's been a while since I've been to this blog. Things have been hectic, but sweet and amazing this summer. I decided to take two classes this summer and with working full-time things have been interesting. And by "interesting" I mean jam packed. As I type this I am behind on posting for several chapters in one class....something I hope to have corrected by this weekend.
I made a major decision this summer too. I've decided to apply to PhD programs in my field. I wanted to get my doctorate before but thought I should start out small by getting a MAC first.
Now that I'm in the program and doing well while working full-time it feels like the time to fly. I'm scared and not scared. I'm excited and positive about my chances of getting into a good program. I'm feeling really great about getting into the program that at this moment speaks to me most. It would mean not having to leave/rent out my home and not having to make some outrageous commute daily. Any commute over 15 minutes and I'm tense - unless I'm driving somewhere on vacation.
Things are good and getting better despite the fact that I can't get everything done each day.
Right now life is consumed with work, school and my home. And I'm behind on several projects in all three of those areas. My place is coming along...I finally, FINALLY found a wall color I liked once it was ON the wall. Things are falling into place when I have the time to work on hanging art, organizing etc.
Once I have things in place I'll post some photos. I'm trying to work out roman shades at the moment. I love having large windows, but I am not loving the cost estimates for roman shades for those windows. The cost may be why all my neighbors have curtains or blinds. I don't care for either so roman shades it is for me.
Other than work, school and home, my maternal grandmother has been ill this summer. That's been stressful, but I also see the grace in it as it is giving my family time to work through her illness. She's 82 years old and her nickname is Sweet.
I realize that 82 is "old" to some, but in my family we expected her to be around perhaps another 20 years so this has come as a shock in many ways. My paternal grandmother is 102 years old and she still drives and goes out dancing. I don't have a relationship with this grandmother, her choice, and so Sweet is the grandmother I've always known and loved. I'm not ready for her to leave, but I understand if her body is tired.
When my great grandmother died in 2008 she was one month shy of her 101st birthday. My mom and I had driven to Mississippi to see her for a visit. She was very clear of mind, but she said her body was tired. She also said that she'd like to see her mother again. Her mother died when she was 11 and her sister was 1 years old. I can't imagine losing your mother at 11 years old and waiting almost 90 years to see her again. I'm grateful that my great grandmother had her sister at least. I wonder how her sister feels having lost her mother 91-92 years ago...
I've babbled enough for now. I'll try to come back and update this more often and stop slacking.
I made a major decision this summer too. I've decided to apply to PhD programs in my field. I wanted to get my doctorate before but thought I should start out small by getting a MAC first.
Now that I'm in the program and doing well while working full-time it feels like the time to fly. I'm scared and not scared. I'm excited and positive about my chances of getting into a good program. I'm feeling really great about getting into the program that at this moment speaks to me most. It would mean not having to leave/rent out my home and not having to make some outrageous commute daily. Any commute over 15 minutes and I'm tense - unless I'm driving somewhere on vacation.
Things are good and getting better despite the fact that I can't get everything done each day.
Right now life is consumed with work, school and my home. And I'm behind on several projects in all three of those areas. My place is coming along...I finally, FINALLY found a wall color I liked once it was ON the wall. Things are falling into place when I have the time to work on hanging art, organizing etc.
Once I have things in place I'll post some photos. I'm trying to work out roman shades at the moment. I love having large windows, but I am not loving the cost estimates for roman shades for those windows. The cost may be why all my neighbors have curtains or blinds. I don't care for either so roman shades it is for me.
Other than work, school and home, my maternal grandmother has been ill this summer. That's been stressful, but I also see the grace in it as it is giving my family time to work through her illness. She's 82 years old and her nickname is Sweet.
I realize that 82 is "old" to some, but in my family we expected her to be around perhaps another 20 years so this has come as a shock in many ways. My paternal grandmother is 102 years old and she still drives and goes out dancing. I don't have a relationship with this grandmother, her choice, and so Sweet is the grandmother I've always known and loved. I'm not ready for her to leave, but I understand if her body is tired.
When my great grandmother died in 2008 she was one month shy of her 101st birthday. My mom and I had driven to Mississippi to see her for a visit. She was very clear of mind, but she said her body was tired. She also said that she'd like to see her mother again. Her mother died when she was 11 and her sister was 1 years old. I can't imagine losing your mother at 11 years old and waiting almost 90 years to see her again. I'm grateful that my great grandmother had her sister at least. I wonder how her sister feels having lost her mother 91-92 years ago...
I've babbled enough for now. I'll try to come back and update this more often and stop slacking.
Friday, May 21, 2010
I do that. I disappear.
I've completed my first year of graduate school and that feels good. I started the summer courses this week - after a whole week off between semesters.
Things are good, intense, stressful, fun, amusing, lovely and unexpected. But overall good.
I'm looking forward to finding more funding and a good PhD program.
Oh, I'm looking forward to a lot of things including going home this summer for a brief second to harass my family and friends.
Things are good, intense, stressful, fun, amusing, lovely and unexpected. But overall good.
I'm looking forward to finding more funding and a good PhD program.
Oh, I'm looking forward to a lot of things including going home this summer for a brief second to harass my family and friends.
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