I clench.

Each morning I wake up to the same routine. I am greeted by the cats – they wait patiently for me to stop hitting snooze. Of course they purr so loudly I never really fall back asleep. The minute I put my feet on the floor, dry contacts or not, I carefully make my way to the bathroom – Gabby must have shower water. Then I am herded to the kitchen, Bootini must have fresh kibble in his bowl.


When I'm finished I am free to get ready for work and that starts with brushing my teeth before taking a shower. Two months ago I realized I'd chipped a tooth in my sleep. I went to work and made an appointment to see the dentist immediately.


When I arrived I found out that unfortunately my dentist, who I love, passed away since the last time I had any dental work done. I really liked him because he was kind and funny and sometimes flirty, but he always made sure I didn't feel anything. (I have a high tolerance and it can take six to eight shots before I'm numb. And that numbness doesn't last long so the dentist has to work quickly.)

My dentist never made me feel like a freak for needing so many shots. I had searched for some time in Austin for a good dentist because I had others who didn't believe my tolerance was that high. If you cause me pain you will not be my doctor, besides who gets off on having a numb mouth?



After another dentist failed to fix the chipped tooth I was assigned to the partner of my previous dentist. He fixed my tooth, gave me something for the pain and off I went. But the pain never went away and I realized I couldn't eat on that side of my mouth.

A week later I noticed another tooth was throbbing and I reluctantly made another dentist appointment. The day before the appointment the tooth that was hurting stopped and another tooth on the other side began to hurt. When I went in for my appointment they took x-rays and I was sure they would see what was wrong with so many of my teeth.



I'm in the chair wearing that bib they give you (which always make me think of people whacking the shite outta crabs) and my dentist comes in to say that nothing is wrong with my teeth. I just look at him. My teeth have been hurting and I'm aware that my dentist will think I'm nuts if I say that different teeth have been hurting so something must be wrong with the x-rays. But I say nothing. I am not a hypochondriac and I know I'm not crazy – even though most crazy people think they are fine.



My dentist then asks if the pain travels and I reluctantly admit that yes, different teeth have caused me pain on different days. He then asks more questions and hooray I think…. maybe I am not crazy after all.

It turns out that I clench my jaw all the time – the dentist said I'd been doing it for some time based on my jaw muscles. (I also grind my teeth at night – hooray! That must make me a joy to sleep near.)

So I'm not really crazy, but now I have to wear the weirdest mouth piece that makes me talk with a lisp.